Intangible Gifts
Gift giving is a pet peeve of mine, both personally and professionally.
Personally, I get stressed trying to find the right gift for people when I “need” to give one. I always want to be sure that I’m giving something that will be appreciated and used. I don’t want to give someone something just because I assume they’ll like it and I don’t want to spend too much or too little either. Luckily there are wedding and baby gift wish lists typically, so at least I have something to go on for those types of occasions. Otherwise, I’ve rarely given birthday and Christmas gifts other than to those closest to me. However, in the last couple years I’ve had discussions with those people and have mutually agreed not to exchange gifts anymore at all. We’ve all decided that it’s way more important to us to do something together rather than give each other something tangible. In some cases, it means meeting up and going out to breakfast and in other cases it means a weeklong trip together. No matter the experience together, we all get what we want – time together plus good food, drinks and memories.
Professionally, I witness so much angst revolving around gifts. On one hand my clients and I find something that they’ve purchased as a gift for family or a friend and have forgotten and lost. At this point, the gift is typically outdated or no longer age appropriate, so it doesn’t make sense to give now. So, my clients are left with the loss of time and money and the chore of getting rid of the item via donation or trash.
On the other hand, we come across something that was gifted to them that they don’t care for. Then, I have to talk them through the decision to keep or get rid of the item. So many of them are afraid that the gifter will know they’ve gotten rid of it and stress about that conversation should they have to have it one day. They have to weigh that against the stress of just keeping the item and finding a place to store it or coming up with some sort of use for it so it’s not a “waste.”
I’m not expecting everyone to be like me, although when I talk about it with friends, family and clients they all seem to “wish” they could handle gifting like I do. I simply encourage you to ask for and give gifts that will be truly appreciated and used. Blatantly ask people what gifts they would actually like to get from you. If they don’t tell you, listen and look for clues and be very thoughtful. In turn, flat out tell the people who give you gifts what you would really like from them. If they don’t really listen, simply ask if you can return the item for something else you want or need.
If you’re not comfortable having these conversations but you really want to give a meaningful gift, give the gift of an experience based on their favorite activities. Maybe you’ll even be able to enjoy it with them and if nothing else, you’ll know you’re at least not cluttering up their space with yet another tangible gift.
Here are some ideas to get you started:
Hiking - park passes
Running - race entry fee
Reading - audiobook/podcast subscription
Skincare /nails- facial / nail appointment
Yoga - membership or subscription
Foodie - meal delivery/cooking class
Drinker - mixology class
Gardener - class
New homeowner – decorator/housekeeper/professional organizer for a day
Zoo / amusement park - season pass
Winos - wine tasting tickets
Traveler – travel agent
Crafter – knitting/beading/jewelry/wreath/art class
Guns – CWP class/lessons
Golf/tennis/swimming – lessons
Concerts – tickets
Haircare – specialty appointment with their hairdresser
Makeup – lesson or trial appointment
Hunting – guided hunt
Fitness – membership/trainer/coach
Date night – babysitter
Fishing – chartered trip
Professional Organizer in Upstate SC